Shock, helplessness, sadness, fear, anger, and confusion—regardless of your connections to Israel, we have all experienced this whirlwind of emotions over the past week or so. Even though it is thousands of miles away, the sheer cruelty of the terror attacks and the humanitarian crisis have caused extreme physical and emotional reactions in many of us, as if the conflict were in our backyards. As the death toll continues to rise in Israel and Gaza, and innocent individuals’ lives are uprooted, Jewish communities around the world are struggling to grapple with the ramifications. Tenafly is one of those communities. Many of us have loved ones residing in Israel. Some have strong emotional ties to Israel as the Jewish homeland. Others are fearful of the rising antisemitism here in America. And more are still trying to educate themselves on the history and understand how we got here. Whatever it may be, we have all experienced some level of trauma. We will get through it, but in the meantime, we must learn to cope. I’ve compiled a list of six strategies to help cope in these uncertain times.
1. Stick to Routine
Do what you know. The conflict in the Middle East is out of our hands. We have no control over the choices made, but we can control our own lives. We can manage our behaviors and decisions. We can focus on the things at our discretion. So, be gentle with yourself. Remain aware of your personal needs and do things you enjoy: read a book, go for a run, or watch your favorite show. Most importantly, simply take your time. We can never be perfect, especially not in times like these. It is important that you show gratitude for your life and safety by taking care of yourself.
2. Understand Your Reactions
No matter who you are– even if you have no ties to the conflict whatsoever—reacting to this crisis is normal. The lives lost and the atrocities committed are tragic. It is okay to feel hurt by these tragedies. I mean, we are human. We must listen to ourselves and recognize these emotions. If we do not give ourselves this opportunity, we fail to create the space to process these feelings. We must also realize that each and every one of us will react differently. “No emotion is the right emotion to be feeling,” Arianna Gallingher, leader of the STAR (Stress, Trauma, and Resilience) program at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, said.
3. Breathe
Yes, I know it sounds clichė, but breathing is one of the most important things you can do amidst this uncertainty. Our minds constantly race, going through every situation possible. By practicing breathing techniques, we not only calm our body, but also our mind. It helps us to gain awareness of our surroundings and recognize the positives. Simply search for five-minutes-long mindful breathing exercises on YouTube and press play. It will do wonders for helping manage your emotions.
4. Lean On Others
Emotion, whether positive or negative, is difficult to experience alone. As humans, we thrive when we are surrounded by others who we can trust. In these difficult times, we must come together to cry, scream, and even smile in reaction to these tragedies and heroic stories. In Tenafly, we are blessed with many different outlets to lean on for support. We have teachers and guidance counselors who are willing to talk to us or even to just listen. And we have a supportive and understanding student body filled with many friendly and helpful faces. It is important to recognize that one should never have to face tragedy alone. We are stronger together!
5. Limit Exposure
Although it is easier said than done, limiting exposure to news and social media can be extremely helpful. Yes, it is important to stay informed and up to date on what is happening. But, it is too easy to keep the news on all day long, trapping ourselves in a rabbit hole from which there is no exit. Social media can often lead us down a path of misinformation and confusion, exacerbating the uncertainty of these times. Tomorrow, try to limit the number of times you check the news and social media to once or twice and see how it makes you feel. I have no doubt that it will keep you productive and on task with your day-to-day routine—something that is very difficult to do when checking the media constantly.
6. Get Involved
We cannot ignore the fact that many of those suffering do not have the ability or potential to use these coping strategies. The trauma they are experiencing is simply too great. So, it is necessary that we– being the ones who can use these strategies– help them out. Show your support by participating in a community gathering or taking a stand against terrorism and hate crimes. Donate money and supplies to Israel through organizations such as Magen David Adom and the Israel Defense Forces (IDF), or simply involve yourself in something that improves your local community. It doesn’t necessarily have to involve Israel, but helping others has been proven to boost our own fulfillment and in turn, happiness.
Whether you implement one, a couple, or all of these strategies, I hope that they help you cope with the tragic events in the Middle East and assist you through the uncertainty that lies ahead. In one way or another, we will get through these difficult times, emerging stronger and more unified as a result.
