What is a friend group? Well, in simple terms, it’s people that make up a small or big group filled with different personalities. As high school students, we all have our own friend groups and we all know that each individual plays a part in the dynamic of the group. Let’s take a closer look at the individuals who add their own unique flavor to create a recipe for the most amusing and unpredictable friendship meal you could ever sample.
The Mom: Starting off strong is the “mom” of the group, the self-appointed chief of unsolicited advice, always ready to drop some wisdom bombs on us, whether we asked for it or not. Oh, and let’s not forget how she acts like she’s the digital sheriff and makes us put our phones in a bin at hangouts. But hey, we’re not in elementary school right? We’re teenagers who can handle our own phones, thank you very much. She really just needs to stop being the biggest buzzkill of mankind and remember we’re not her actual kids. Sometimes—well, most of the time—she takes her “mom” role a little bit too seriously. I can’t help but wonder if she’s practicing to be a “Karen” for when she’s older. Let’s just hope her future children (if she has any) can handle her so-called momness.
The calorie counter: This member of the group is all about staying healthy and keeping track of their food intake. They’re like a walking nutrition encyclopedia, always knowing the calorie content of every snack and meal. You’ll often find them jotting down their food choices in a food diary or using one of those calorie counting apps that you see in ads everywhere. Oh, and please don’t get me started when it’s time to decide where to Doordash from. Everyone in the group is usually craving Wingstop, McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A, but of course it’s too “unhealthy” for them. Sometimes they are okay with ordering from Chipotle; but, boy, you should see their order: lettuce and chicken. WHO ORDERS FROM CHIPOTLE TO GET LETTUCE AND CHICKEN? LIKE, COME ON! Word of advice: hide your snacks, because if they find them, you will end up in an hour-long lecture on nutritional choices.
The NPC: Picture this, someone who’s just there—-the non-playable character. It’s like they’re the “extra” character in the movie, always there but never involved in the main plot. They’re the ones you find chilling in a corner at a party either on their phones, talking to nobody or waving exotically. Whenever drama occurs you always know the NPC wasn’t involved, but just sat there observing; they never get caught up in the group’s chaos.. Maybe they’re there to remind us they are…well… “apart” from something.
The drama queen: Say hello to the girl who has to be at the center of everything; attention seeker is her middle name. You will never see her without a phone in one hand and a tissue in the other. A day doesn’t go by when she doesn’t have an outburst about anything and everything. Yesterday, it was a fit about who knows what! Every situation becomes a whirlwind of emotions; no I am not exaggerating. It’s no wonder she’s a part of the theater club. Mark my words, in the next ten years you’ll find her winning an Emmy for her role on New Jersey Housewives or something equally dramatic. Love her or hate her, she definitely adds some excitement to our lives! We never know what kind of plot twist she’ll bring next. Just a little advice: it’s best to keep a distance because today you may be her best friend but tomorrow who knows?
The one that thinks he is “him”: Meet “him,” the self-proclaimed master of the friend group. The whole entire universe revolves around himself. Every conversation is an opportunity for him to show others his glory—or so he thinks. If confidence was a sport, he’d be the undefeated champion. WARNING: if you encounter “him” you’re going to get blown away by his high self-esteem. If you spot him, remind him that he is not some sort of god, and is just a boy living life like everyone else. Humble him out of love! Bro needs it.
The Duo: The besties for the resties, partners in crime, peanut butter and jelly; a.k.a the two friends that will never leave each other’s side. They’re always ready to save the day…or at least make it a whole lot funnier. It’s like they have their own secret language, where one look or one inside joke is all it takes for them to be hysterically laughing and dying on the floor. They always have each other’s back and I really do admire them for that, but it’s hard for me not to wonder if they’re secretly in love with each other. If you see one of them then you know the other one is not too far behind and if one decides to skip out on the party, then the other one skips out on it as well. They’re really the same person but just in different fonts.
The boy obsessed one: If being obsessed with someone became a competition, you know this friend will take the gold medal. The only thing I have heard the past year is about Jack. She’s always working tirelessly to stalk his every move. This girl couldn’t be anymore delusional, she already has their whole wedding planned out. She could write a novel about his morning coffee preference and probably turn it into the best seller. You know how the Earth revolves around the Sun? Her world revolves around Jack. GIRL HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO ASK, PLEASE STOP TURNING EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION ABOUT HIM! It went from me talking about getting food to her stalking him on Snap Map. I just want to eat my food without gagging.
The parents’ favorite: This friend has a special talent for winning over the parents while still being the wildest and craziest one in the group. I swear, it’s like they have this secret charm that makes every parent trust them completely; it’s like they can do no wrong. Whenever we want to go out and are looking to have a fun time, I always make sure to mention they’ll be there too, even if they’re not actually coming. It’s like a guaranteed approval from my parents when they know this friend is involved. Last week I wanted to go to this NYE party in the city; when I asked my parents if I could go, I could tell they were leaning towards no, but when I said “Oh and by the way Kate’s going,” they immediately approved and my mom even went out to buy me a new outfit. This friend just makes everything easier for the rest of us and if i’m being honest, they really do deserve a mountain of gifts for their next birthday.
The Advisor: Anytime someone is caught up in a situation you know who to call for! The advisor is the one that always knows what the best solution to every problem is. Even if I’m just sitting they always ask if I’m ok… like, why wouldn’t I be ok? One time I went to get some advice and asked about how I should respond to my best friend that I just got into a fight with. I of course listened to her. What did that lead me to? The end of my best friend’s relationship. Wow, thanks for everything. Thanks to you, me and my friends now do not speak to each other and are total strangers. You should find a new role.
The Oversharer: The second you become friends with this person they will tell you every single thing that goes on and has gone on in their whole life. After one night out with them, you’ll go home knowing the last time they stunk up the bathroom, what went on between their brother and his girlfriend, everything she overheard that group of girls talking about at lunch; don’t worry that’s not all, the list goes on and on. Let’s be real, “TMI” (too much information) must be missing from their vocabulary. It’s honestly mind-boggling how much they can share in a couple hours; I mean if we combined all their stories they told throughout the years, we could probably write a whole book! But hey, although it may be very overwhelming hearing them talk for hours at a time, it’s sort of interesting. As one of their friends, my teapot keeps filling with new tea each and every day.
A squad is not complete without any of these unique personalities. It’s the spice from each individual that makes the whole group experience thrilling. Can you figure out which one you and your friends are? But hey, I wouldn’t recommend labeling your friends based on these roles…it might ruffle some feathers.
