Why Text Messaging is the Best Way to Communicate in a Relationship
December 6, 2018
- Flirting. You would never have the guts to flirt in person, but sending subtle : ) ‘s gives off the perfect vibe of “I don’t like you like that yet, but I also want you to bear my progeny.”
- When they (finally) ask you out. Congratulations, you are now a certified expert in online flirting! Maybe it was the memes you sent him at 2 a.m. last night. Anyhow, now you can officially update your relationship status on Facebook, even though your relatives are the only ones who look at your profile, but that’s the point; your great-aunt will finally stop asking you if you have a boyfriend!
- No real-life confrontation. Yes, relationships are about getting to know the person, but what better way to be more intimate than iMessage 8 Ball?
- Cute dates. Imagine the lights off, rose petals on the bed, candles lit, some nice Youtube “Peaceful Music 2 Hour Loop” playing. There’s just something so romantic and special about sending Snapchats when you’re two feet away from each other. Hopefully, when you and your partner meet in Real Life, you won’t have to interact with each other.
- GIFs. The keyboard with animated images is a gift from the gods, especially when you have to reply to his texts about his new video game, which you don’t care or want to know about at all, but not responding with anything would just be rude.
- The block button. If your significant other is being annoying (as usual), block them for a little bit so you don’t have to lie about not getting their text messages.
- “She’s just a friend.” You know he’s cheating on you; you’re not upset (you would too if you were him), but you can’t let him step on your pride like that. With text messaging, you won’t have to show your emotions through your broken and lonely face. Just respond to his apology paragraph with “It’s okay. *Insert passive aggressive slightly smiling emoji*.”
- Do Not Disturb. Unfortunately, you can’t mute a person, but with a relationship based solely on iMessage, Do Not Disturb is your best friend! Having to listen to your boyfriend’s life gets tiring, especially when he has the same boring things to say every day. Sure, you asked about his day, but that was just MANNERS. You don’t actually care about what he did today. Why would you?
- Easy and simple breakups. You know you have a tendency to get sick of people really quickly. With text messaging, you can make yourself sound like you are genuinely sad to leave your significant other by adding a crying emoji after each sentence. Spice it up a bit by adding a broken heart at the end of your 20-sentence, MLA formatted breakup paragraph for a bigger impact.
The only thing that sucks is that you have to change your relationship status again. Luckily, it’s only been 2 hours since you posted that you were taken, so hopefully, your 10 Facebook friends didn’t see that first post.
