Signs That They’re Just Not That Into You


Kathryn Zheng, Managing Editor

We’re now in the thralls of midwinter, and that means one thing: cuffing season. You see all those photos of happy couples on Instagram, snuggling and sharing hot chocolate, and your New Year’s Resolution instantly becomes to obtain a significant other. You tell a lucky someone whom you’ve had your eye on for a while about your feelings, they seem to reciprocate, and—hey, they’re online, so why aren’t they replying to your texts? Maybe they’re just not that into you, and that’s fine! That’s totally, totally fine. (Right?) In any case, here are some ways to gauge if they’re actually too busy or if they’re just not that into you.

If they’re always online but never respond to your messages with more than a one-word answer, they’re not into you. “K?” “Definitely?” “Yep?” You deserve better than that, especially after you’ve just told them about the root causes of your clown phobia. Sparky the Clown was traumatizing, and if they can’t dignify your narrative with more than a “Sorry,” you don’t need to give them any more of your time.

If they keep leaving you on read, they’re not that into you. Firstly, who even turns on read receipts anymore? They’d only do that if they wanted you to know that, yes, they are getting your messages about your favorite movies, but no, they do not care. Find someone who at least takes the time to turn read receipts off when they’re ignoring you.

If they’re always canceling plans at the last minute which you painstakingly cleared your schedule to make, they’re just not that into you. You told them you’d meet them at the movie theater at 3:30, you actually made an effort to look nice for once, and then you’re pacing outside the theater maniacally until you receive that text. Forget them; you can totally watch the hot new rom-com by yourself, even if you’re going to be stuck between two couples who keep feeding each other popcorn.

If they don’t show up to the holiday party which you threw specifically for them, they’re just not that into you. Sure, they warned you ahead of time that they “might have family plans,” but that’s no real excuse when you took the time to bake three pies, decorate the house with fairy lights, and make your own ugly sweater. Throw yourself the party! Play spin-the-bottle with your pillow! Kiss your hand under the mistletoe! Just because they’re not there doesn’t mean you can’t have some quality holiday fun!

If they sent you hearts but keep commenting “lol love you lots” on your best friend’s Instagram posts, they’re just not that into you. Maybe they’re just an affectionate person, and that’s fine. Don’t read too much into those hearts they sent you or the fact that they called you cute three times. (Three. Times.)

If they avoid your glance in the hallways daily, they’re just not that into you. You wave to them every day, and they never wave back. You try desperately to make eye contact with them, and when you do, a deer-in-the-headlights look instantly washes over their face. Let them be; you can’t force them to talk to you, you know.

If they forget your name, they’re just not that into you. Do they call you Marisol when your name is Melissa? Do they say, “Hey, Dylan” when your name is actually Jack? There’s just no excuse for that, especially when you’ve been in the same history class for three years straight.

If they use “Sorry, I’m a mess” as an excuse for never being able to meet up, they’re just not that into you. They might be a mess, but you’re even more of a mess! You’re sleeping three hours a night! Three restraining orders have been filed against you! Your mother refuses to talk to you because she’s absolutely terrified of you! Sure, they might have homework, but they’ll never be as much of a mess as you are, and you still manage to make time for them.

If they file a restraining order against you, they’re just not that into you. Well, actually, you’re not allowed to be into them anymore, since a court ruled that you have to be at least 1,000 feet away from them at all times. At this point, you should probably just give it up.

If they tell you to “Please leave me alone, I thought the restraining order would make you stop, this is my bedroom, you know,” they’re probably just not that into you. It’s fine; there are other fish in the sea. Besides, the police are going to arrive any minute, so you might as well get out before you’re arrested. Again.