Types of Dads


Joie Evar, Staff Writer

After learning about the types of moms, it’s only fair that we look into the stereotypical types of dads that make our lives just as special. Here are some of the dads that you may know or may even have!

The Apple Dad: New watch? He’s got it. New iOS update? He’s the first to download it, changing his lock screen to the live picture, and of course, adding the new weather widget. Throughout the school day, the Apple Dad will definitely be sending you a series of GIFs, and when you’re out of school, he’ll be questioning your every move on Life360. He always brings his GoPro on family vacations and will never miss a photo opportunity. You can always find this dad on Instagram, with his best Portrait Mode selfie set as his profile picture, and in your DMs, sending you Instagram Reels of golden retrievers and the driest memes that he got a laugh out of while at work. Unlike many other dads, the only bar he finds himself at is the Apple Genius Bar, with his special table in the back. 

The Early Bird: The Early Bird is your last resort for a ride to school. Being that he has work in the city and is trying to miss rush hour, the latest you will get to school will be an hour before it actually starts. This dad is always found in a suit, driving around town in his “bougie” sports car, and always wearing a watch. 

The Airport Dad: You knew this was coming. We all have the dad who makes us get to the airport hours before the actual flight. Once at the airport, he checks that he brought the passports a million times and reminds the children that their bags are too heavy yet again. Just remember not to ask whether or not you have to take your shoes off because that would definitely hurt his record speed through security. Did you forget your headphones? Don’t worry, this dad has a collection of free amenities from all of the flights he has been on over the years. He will be taking advantage of the free snacks and will be ordering multiple sodas throughout the duration of the flight. You already know his entire camera roll is filled with pictures from his window seat view of the sky, in Portrait Mode of course. 

The Ref: From four-year-old little league games to the varsity field, The Ref always has his own scoreboard and his own lines of in and out. He sets up his own chair, hours prior to the game, to see his child’s team practice beforehand. He is always talking bad about the other team, but most importantly, the starting player whom his child is the sub for. When the team scores, he is the first to stand up, but when it gets scored on, it’s bloody murder. If you can’t hear him, you will definitely be able to see him due to his dramatic hand movements over all the fouls and penalties that “should have been called.” It is rare that these dads will come out of hiding these days because the majority of them are blacklisted, probably for getting physical with the actual ref. 

The Yard-Core Dad: This is the dad who cares more about the new landscape the family just redid instead of the inside of his home. Before he fixes the fridge that has been broken for months, he’ll buy a mini fridge for the backyard. Dance recitals? Sports games? How can there be time for that when there are so many leaves to be raked and so much mowing to be done? You better see if you can convince him to add a stage or maybe a basketball court to the yard. What can I say, he’s just yard-core. 

The Frat Dad: We all know that dad who still thinks he is in college, referring to people he hasn’t spoken to for 20+ years as his “boy.” He brings his kids to every one of his old college’s football games and he counts down the days to every school reunion. You can easily spot this dad driving, not only by his college bumper stickers, but also by the blasting of “Blues Traveler,” and of course, the “Spin Doctors.”