Combating the School WiFi


Evan Hecht, Editor-in-Chief

The school WiFi can be seen as both a blessing and a curse. It’s great that we have such a phenomenally functional and reliable source of WiFi at our fingertips. Do we sacrifice some of our First Amendment rights by blindly agreeing to the TPS/TPSGuest WiFi policy, which allows the school to trace all our searches? Yes. But, hey, at least we get WiFi that works—sometimes. While our WiFi is an amazing tool to have, there are certain things you’re not allowed to search up. But luckily for you, I’ve figured out a way to avoid the silly school WiFi-blocked words.

Are you doing a research paper or project on the iconic Melville novel Moby Dick? Are you being blocked by the school WiFi because of the word “dick”? Well, to avoid the “this page is blocked due to the following reasons” page, try Googling “moby whale book.” Mr. Morrison and Mrs. Lewis may see an insane search history coming from your Chromebook, but at least you’ll find your summaries.

Are you ever curious about the famous Supreme Court case, Obergefell v. Hodges, that led to the legalization of same-sex marriage? Maybe you just can’t seem to remember the name of the case, so you type in “same-sex marriage Supreme Court case” in Google and proceed to get blocked? Well, to work around that, try Googling “two people same gender get married legal case.” Is it very wordy? 100%. Do you get your result? Yes, so it’s worth it in the end.

You know when you’re doing your microscope labs for biology and you can’t remember the word for when something cannot be seen with your normal eyes and has to be viewed with a microscope? Well, the school won’t let you look up “naked eye,” so instead, try looking up “scientific term not able to see with regular eyesight.” If that doesn’t work, try “no clothing eye.”

Sometimes, when you’re talking about your favorite lizard, it’s hard to explain why it’s your favorite without a ready image. Being the modern teen you are, you want to use its fun slang name, but uh oh! You can’t look up the horny toad. Instead, try looking up “fun and cool lizard that has a stupid amount of spikes to protect from predators because I guess that’s what they got from natural selection.” Darwinism, am I right?

If you ever run into a word you just can’t seem to search up while you’re using the school WiFi, try breaking the blocked word up into the most complicated and detailed way to describe it. It’ll (probably) work, trust me.