Valentine’s Day. A day of candy hearts, chocolates, and flowers. A day spearheaded by Cupids with arrows meant to spur love. A day to celebrate lovey-dovey couples around the world … and to taunt those who have yet to “find the one.” 

February 14th, Valentine’s Day, is one of our culture’s major holidays, and yet, it has become increasingly reserved to a select elite: the “Taken.” The holiday has become one to dread for many others, reminded that, yet again, they are without a Valentine. However, rather than a day to praise romantic relationships, Valentine’s Day should be a day to celebrate relationships of all kinds. As a “day of love,” shouldn’t it celebrate pure love at its face value, whether it be family relationships or friendships?

Although the origins of the holiday are not concrete, Valentine’s Day traces itself back to “three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus,” according to History.com. All three saints, martyrs of their time, are recalled with stories of great heroism and romanticism, sentiments which we may be able to track back to today’s modern holiday. The date, February 14th, is also said to commemorate the celebration of Lupercalia, an ancient Roman festival of fertility. In addition to this, February 14th marks the start of the birds’ mating season, heightening the identity of the day as one of love. 

As children, we celebrated the day as one of universal love, passing candies and letters to our classmates in shoe boxes decorated with red and pink hearts. Now, Valentine’s Day has become deemed as more of a “couple’s holiday,” praising those with significant others and excluding those without. Since our understanding of the holiday as children, many of us have come to view it in a much more negative light throughout the years.

Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, has also become increasingly stress-inducing and even toxic. According to Insider, Valentine’s Day has become a day of high expectations, which can in turn lead to a day of great disappointments. The pressure to buy meaningful gifts and plan the “perfect date night” may actually create greater tension in a relationship. A Facebook study on relationships, conducted by CNN, discovered that the highest rate of breakups occurs following Valentine’s Day, perhaps as a result of these disappointments. In addition to this, Valentine’s Day undoubtedly serves as a depressing reminder to singles that they’re yet again without a partner, which may cause depressive thoughts and bitterness. According to ListVerse, “A recent poll found that one in ten young adults admitted to feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine’s Day.” These expectations for the day, from couples and singles alike, then pervert the meaning of the holiday from love to frustration. Where did all the fun go?

So why not return the festivities and relieve the anxieties? Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be an extravagant proposal of love meant to define a relationship, and it doesn’t have to solely be a day for romances. It could even be a day to celebrate self-love and to really treat yourself. It may even be simplest to return to the basics and celebrate the day with indifferent love, like sharing candies in shoeboxes. Let’s forget the expectations and just make the effort to be a little more grateful for those in our lives. Happy Valentine’s Day!