Types of Promposals

Evan Hecht, Editor-in-Chief

As prom season rolls in, the glitz, glamour, and anxiety of prom begin. Girls get their dresses, boys make sure their ties don’t clash, and, most importantly, promposals start. Promposals date back to the cavemen, who would draw onto cave walls pictographs of the women they were attempting to betroth with a heart around her in an attempt at courtship. But promposals have also made their place in millennial culture. There are many types. Here are a few:

The Traffic Stopper

You exit your period seven math class, rushing to get to get to English to make it in time for your in-class essay. As you turn the corner to cut across the hallway, you’re stopped by a huge circle surrounding two students. People start clapping and cheering as you see a girl get handed a bouquet of flowers and a sign that has some form of pun about, maybe, the art class she just left or even a joke about her latest trip to Cabo. While you’re happy for the lovely couple going to prom, you’re late for your essay—all for the sake of an Instagram post.

Dinner—rather, lunch—and a show

As you and your friends are sitting outside for lunch, coincidentally, another huge mob forms. This time a chair has been placed down for someone to sit in as another person puts down a speaker and plays his prospective date’s favorite song, or just any corny love song. The song starts, and a decently choreographed dance routine starts. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, all the friends turns around and their shirts spell out “PROM?” Everyone claps as the two people go and hug each other and take their obligatory Instagram for the eventual swipe post that contains the video.

The “I’m too cool for promposals” promposal

If you really want to go against the grain and rebel against societal norms, this one’s for you. Who needs the big flashy sign and a crowd of people around you? Well, you say you don’t want that, but just to make sure everyone knows you did it, you post on Instagram. It’s usually a simple sign you quickly write on a piece of eight by eleven printer paper in some Sharpie because you’re just too cool for a big promposal.

Punny for your thoughts?

If you can’t think of some fun inside joke to play off of, try making a joke about something related to your potential date, like college or maybe just a food pun. If your date is going to University of Wisconsin-Madison, try “will you Wisc(go) to prom with me?” or, for Tufts, “It would be Tufts to say no to prom with me.” If you can’t think of a good college pun, try just doing a pun with candy. Who doesn’t like candy? “You’d be a Smartie to go to prom with me?” or “Be a sweet tart and go to prom with me?” Everyone loves a piece of candy, so why not bring it into prom?

Snacktime

Similar to the candy pun approach, try just going all out with food. Have “PROM?” spelled out in pepperoni on a pizza. Yeah, your date is a vegetarian, but you know you’ll be called “goals” in the comments on your post. If you want to be a little out of the box, try spelling out prom in cannolis, or maybe, if your date likes donuts, get a bunch of donuts and spell out prom. The food approach is a guaranteed way to get some good comments when you post the video of your date walking into your history class, and you also get a good snack.

A Taxing adventure

No, nobody is having an EMT related emergency, and no, there’s no fire on your street, it’s just your volunteer firefighter boyfriend! You get woken up to the blaring sounds of a firetruck and are forced to evacuate your house to see your boyfriend in full firefighter gear holding a sign saying, “It would be fire if we went to prom!” Sure, hundreds, or thousands, of public tax money went into a cute Facebook video, but hey, you got over fifty likes (and that’s pretty good for Facebook).